A very nice man has asked me out - after looking online: I discover it's a VERY nice seafood restaurant that he has chosen.
SO besides freaking over what I will wear, now I'm worried about things like:
how do you deal with fish bones?
what wine goes with snapper? ( i like riesling for EVERY thing, but what's the rule?)
Would it be Ok to order a seafood Newburg or is that too heavy of a meal for a first date (or am i even thinking of the RIGHT dish)?
OR if I go for the Sea Scallops served with Prosciutto, mushrooms and asiago cheese: what kind of wine?
Any other helpful hints would be greatly appreciated! I think I've got a good handle on my ';manners';... but go ahead and pretend I'm your daughter who's about to go on a date with the king of siam and you don't want me to screw anything up! lol
After four years married to a hunter who'd rather skin a deer and making fishing lures on my coffee table, I'm a lil out of practice. THANK YOU for your help folks!HELP! Fancy dinner date....need some tips!! plllllease help a girl out! lol...shoot, i'm nervous!?
Calm down girl!
As nervous as you are, try to remember that it's just a restaurant. Try to keep breathing deeply (quietly and inconspicuously, but deeply) and keep your body relaxed. No one can see what is going on in your head and if you keep your body relaxed (the breathing will help) you will look at ease.
Wear something you are comfortable in, that doesn't have to be casual, but not something too tight, or that you'll have to fuss with all night to be sure it's covering everything. The better you feel in your clothes and body, the more you will be able to relax and the more you will both enjoy yourselves. He's probably nervous too, and part of your 'job' is to help him feel at ease.
It is unlikely that you'll find a lot of fish bones in a restaraunt meal. Avoid trout or small fish and you should be fine. If you do run into a fish bone (since you mentioned it) just push it to the side of your plate, it can sit there through the meal. If you find one in your mouth, don't mention it or make a big deal, just discretely remove it from your mouth and set it on the edge of your plate like it's no big deal and continue with whatever you are talking about.
I'd say the Newberg would be too heavy, your focus should really be on him - the meal and the restaraunt are all a vehicle for the two of you to get to know each other. Don't order too much, it sounds like you'll be too nervous to eat a huge meal.
I wouldn't worry too much about the wine. He'll probably order a bottle, just let him pick it, and compliment him on his choice no matter what he picks. If he asks for your opinion on choice of wine tell him honestly what you like, but let him pick.
Remember, it's just a meal, he's just a man. Everything will be fine. The most important thing for you to do is to relax and enjoy yourself. If you are relaxed and enjoying yourself he can relax and enjoy himself. He's probably feeling a lot more pressure than you are because it's up to him to plan the date you will enjoy, all you have to do is appreciate his efforts.
Have fun, and RELAX!HELP! Fancy dinner date....need some tips!! plllllease help a girl out! lol...shoot, i'm nervous!?
as a chef in a 5 star hotel, i took a date[1st] to a fine dining restaurant and she felt the same way you do. so here you are ; dress ';smart casual'; , no jeans,no t-shirts,no tennis shoes. a nice blouse and slacks and comfortable shoes is good ,or a dress [no formal gown needed]. the server will put the napkin in your lap for you. the kind of wine you like is the kind to drink. riesling goes very well with fish. however, since your date does not drink alcohol let him ask you if you would like an alcoholic beverage. he may not be comfortable with you drinking as he does not know you very well. he will ask you what you would like to eat ,as the man will order for both of you. avoid loud ,boisterous topics of conversation . share conversation about both of your interests. be respectful of each other. if you have questions about the menu, etc. then ask. i hope this helps and you both have a great time.
Whats the restuarant? Normally they have wine pairings that go with there dishes. Fishbones are easy. Dont order anything with fishbones. =D Relax and take it slow. I think you are putting a little bit to much into this. I know first dates are ';everything'; but dont worry about it.
GOOD LUCK!
Chill numb-nuts...you've got good friends who've got your back ;)...and he's already seen you in action....that's why he asked you out.
Just be a lady and enjoy yourself...he's probably nervous too since he's the shy type and it probably took every drop of energy he had to ask you out in the first place.
No expectations...just a nice evening with a nice man. Isn't it nice to feel like someone respects you? Yeah, it does... mellow out and show him the same respect.
listen to your friends AND all of the folks on here. You'll be fine...
-peace
Hi,
if this man is a 'very nice man' as you suggest, then he will certainly not be trying to trip you up over what you order...
If you are worried about fishbones, you could order a fillet (filet, to you) which, of course, will arrive without bones.
He will ask you, I'm sure, what you would like to both eat and drink. Reisling is fine with fish, but you could always say 'you choose for me'. He'll feel pleased that you have sought his recommendation and who knows, you may get a wine that is far superior to Reisling which, though suitable for drinking with fish, is rather 'perfumy' as with most German white wines. (But, of course, if that's the one you like...)
Rules over wine are no longer 'de rigour'. Generally people do (still) drink white with fish and chicken, etc. and red with stronger flavoured red meats, but it is OK to drink anything with anything as long as you like the combination...Just don't worry!
Other than that, just relax and talk...the more you talk, the more you'll find out about each other's likes and dislikes and next time you'll both be more relaxed.
Remember...it's HIS first date with you, too.
Enjoy your date, and don't worry...nice men are just that...NICE!
BobSpain
The focus of the date is ';the date';, not the food. With that in mind, select a dish easy to eat, not one with hundred small bones that may require using fingers to remove them from your mouth. Forget the seafood that you might like but difficult to handle. About the wine, if the date is a wine snob then order white for seafood, red for meat but if he is a care-free guy, forget the rule. Nowadays, people drink what they like, the hell with pairing. You seem nervous and you will perspire. So, use deodorant and wear a dress or shirt covering up your armpits. During the conversation, be free, natural and yourself. If you get too self-conscious, you will lose the focus and start talking silly. Good luck and score!
relax white wine with fish...be yourself if you got it goin on a guy does not care about manners unless you smack or talk with food in your mouth
The best thing you can do is dress nice, mind your manners and be yourself. Let this person know you are not up to speed on such things. If he is taking you to a fancy place, he may either be just trying to impress you or may just in fact know a thing or two. If he knows what he is doing, then he may just find it tantalizing, therefore giving him some control (which men like) over the evening. If he is just trying to impress you, and he doesn't know either, once you let him know you don't, then maybe it will put him at ease. Don't over read a situation until you go into it, as yourself. Don't fret. You will do fine.
Order a cheeseburger, cherry coke and crinkly fries. You can never go wrong there. :) j/k I would be in the same boat, I haven't been to many places without a kids menu and crayons, however, hope you have a great date :)
Hi--happy to hear that some nice guy with class has asked you out on a nice date. FIRST_-just be yourself---worrying over nothing--that's what you are doing---worrying over nothing. Drive by this restaurant first-see how people are dressed going in....Then go in and ask to see a menu, they probably have a copy to take--if not review it and look for easy filet meals--the bones will be gone---sole or flounder.are good. Have a salad that comes with the house dressing--usually a vinegrette--easy to enjoy that. The chowder or bisque is a good choice--all seafood places offer that. get a potato and you have a meal. White wine only with seafood. Just ask for a house white wine--the place probably has a good one. DO NOT LET THE MAN ORDER FOR YOU...plan ahead. This way he sees a decisive woman and it shows you are at ease--you know what you want. Dress with what nice outfits you have---keep it tasteful and you will be a hit. Let him open your car door--if he doesn't--he has NO class---dump him. Let him open all doors for you. Be at ease and work the room--act like you have seen nice places and comment on whatever impresses you about where he takes you---he'll notice you are observant. Please just sit up straight, sit still, take small bites, I am sure you will have fun. OH, eat two slices of bread before you go--wine on an empty stomach will make you tired or silly--sip it slowly with something in your belly. Use your manners and remain a lady at all times---quiet little voice, have a few interests that you can talk about. Realx and have fun---after this first date goes well--it will be nice from now on---good luck
LOL...I think you just need to relax and enjoy the dinner. Let him order the wine. By the way, white wine goes with any kind of seafood. When I dated I always looked to see what he ordered first, then decide. I tried to order something that was either the same price as his meal, or something a little less. Your salad fork is the fork with the fewer tines, or if the same amount of tines, it's the one closest to the plate. As for the fish bones, well, order shrimp, or something that says ';boneless';. Let's see what else..oh, just relax, I'm sure it will be fine!
Yum! The sea scallops one sounds delicious! White wine for that, too. But as previously stated, he may order a bottle, so don't worry. You'll be fine.
Sit up straight!
wel when i was younger i went on vacation once to some island, and i learned that when you are chewing the fish you have to chew it more than susal untill you feel the bones. when you feel one, just get the napkin as if you where to clean your mouth but instead spit the bone into the napkin.
Always remember to be yourself, but I think the best advice I to give you is to tell him that he can have the choice of what meal and drinks you have. That way you don't have to worry about what goes with what.
Having dated some executives when I was just a poor receptionist... And having dined at Caesar's in Vegas with one of my daughters who was as clueless as I was...
Utensils are set so that you start from the outside and work your way in. So if you start with salad, your salad fork should be the last utensil on the outside.
*If he doesn't drink, order some iced tea and have some water. I don't care *what* Emily Post says. The last thing you want is to be tipsy if he's sober and he's paying for the date. Regardless of why he doesn't drink, he wont like having to pay for alcohol.
No elbows on the table, napkin folded neatly in your lap. Food can be messy and you usually only get one napkin, so work your way around it over the course of the meal. Take a dab after every few bites in case you get something on your face.
It's okay to be nervous, and it's okay to let your date see you get a little nervous. You've heard ';When in Rome...'; So take cues from your date. Don't mimic his every move, but observe how he navigates his plate or deals with fish bones.
As for what to wear, you can never go wrong with simple and elegant. No heavy make-up, no gaudy jewelry, and no outfit that's too suggestive. Simple and elegant would be small pearl stud earrings. For some reason men love those.
Focus mostly on your conversation and date. :)
Fishbones (or anything else you don't want to swallow) come out of your mouth the same way they went in. (if you ate it with your fingers then take it out with your fingers, if you put it in with a fork then use the fork to convey it back down to your plate). Put the offending morsel on th edge of the plate without comment (According to Emily Post hiding it or spitting it in the napkin is a no-no)
White wine with fish (you can always ask the waiter to recommend something. They're pretty knowledgeable about what goes with what)
Order what you enjoy (but if he's paying then let him choose the budget. I usually say something like ';Oh gee, everything here looks good, what are you having?'; then choose something within a dollar or two of what he's getting.)
Sea scallops are a little heavier than fish, you can get away with a more robust wine (but again you can ask the server for a recommendation)
Other stuff:
Don't drink too much
Don't fix your makeup at the table
People think you're a brilliant conversationalist if you let them do most of the talking. (Ask leading questions, not ones that can be answered with yes or no)
Do be relaxed
The napkin goes in your lap as soon as you sit down.
If you drop a fork, leave it and ask the waiter for a new one
Offer to pay or to split the bill, but only twice. Let him pay if he really wants to (you can treat to movie and popcorn later if you want or offer to pick up the tip)
Don't mention your ex more than three times. :)
And have a wonderful, fantastic time and be your relaxed and charming self. I wish you all the best.
EDIT:
If he doesn't drink alcohol because he doesn't like it then go ahead and get wine.
If he doesn't drink because of medical/moral reasons, you can ask him if he would mind terribly if you had a glass of wine with dinner. (If you don't know which is the case then ask)
Congrats on getting a date with a nice man and welcome back to the world of dating!
Don't fret about the wine... he is the host so let him choose it (specially since you don't know what to order).
I don't think you need to worry too much about bones in a good restaurant, but if you find one, do what a previous answerer said.. don't try to choke it down :) Shellfish would be another great option, but avoid anything that actually needs to be shelled by YOU.. that can get messy!
Go for the gusto and make sure you eat all your supper.. pretending you don't have a hearty appetite won't impress him if he's paying top dollar for the dinner! It's ok to share dessert :)
Have a great time... :)
OK, first take a deep breath and calm yourself; this date is about you getting to know your man better so the food is secondary.
Bones - Unfortunately, sometimes it can be hard to avoid fish bones. Generally, when you order a fillet from a saltwater fish as opposed to freshwater you will encounter fewer bones, but it will come down to how the fish was prepared. Therefore, your best bet is to simply ask your waitperson whether there are bones in the particular dish.
Wine - Don't worry about rules here. Some men can be fussy about ordering wine, so if your guy is a wine snob, you might want to gently make your preference known. If he's a good guy, he'll ask you anyway. A nice dry Riesling will go with just about any seafood dish. You've mentioned seafood Newburg and Scallops with Prosciutoo, (makin' me drool here) for which you might consider branching out to a slightly more robust Chardonay, (Cakebread Cellars is a good choice) to stand up to the heavier seasoning and sauces. If you are going with a more delicate fish, you could consider trying a Sauvignon Blanc.
The dish - Listen sister, YOU'RE the dish so it doesn't matter what you order. Lobster and crab can be a bit messy when you start cracking things, so be careful if this is your choice. Get what you want and enjoy yourself!
1st problem, fish bones: either order as has already been suggested something without bones (i.e fish fillet), or if you order medium or big size fish ask the waiter whether they remove the bones in advance for you (done often), or you will have to remove them on your own using your knife and fork (and definitely not your hands).
2nd problem, wine: if it is such a fine restaurant it should have a sommelier - or at least the waiter should be able to recommend which wine is good according to the dish you will choose (the rule white with fish, red with meat is totally wrong).
3rd problem, right dish: there is no right or wrong dish, choose what you like (maybe you can consult your friend if he has something to recommend).
So, in general, relax, and be yourself (the usual cliche), just don't overdo it. Have fun !!
Relax and enjoy the evening in his company! No need to fidget or get clumsy...White wine with fish. Red wine with italian or steak. Always spoon your soup AWAY from you - not towards you when eating it. When you finish eating, don't leave your napkin in a wad on your plate! Just lay it beside your plate when you're done.... I just hope you're aware that lots of men take women out to nice places, expecting you to....um, ';show them some love'; after the meal. I hope you are prepared in case he's one of those guys - you can't always tell.
Take your lead from him...
Mention that EVERYTHING looks good on the menu...
Ask if he's been their before and if so, what would he recommend
Oh and order ANYthing you like... you dont want him thinking you're fussy or on some sort of diet...
