He's lovely and rang me to arrange the other day - we spent over an hour and half on the phone. Starting to feel nervous now as it's been a while since been on a date I cared about.
What do guys like in a girl and what's a turn-off? Don't want to do anything stupid.
PS. This is weird but if brothers and sisters come up, what do I say? My brother died 9 years ago - don't want it to make anything heavy - supposed to keep first dates light...First date tips please - waited A YEAR for this?
What I always tell people about dates is that they're called ';dates'; because it's an appointment on a calendar. That's all it is. It's an appointment to meet someone and talk. I find thinking about it that way makes people way less nervous.
I won't try and offer advice on what to say and what not to say, because I'm really not the right person to do that. I give guys the wrong impression all the time and am still trying to figure out how to do it right.
I can offer some advice on your brother though. I've lost a lot of people in my life, and I don't think it's ever a bad idea to talk about them. You love them, they're important to you, so you can't dishonor them by hiding them or denying them. I also really believe that those who've passed away gain strength when people who love them talk about them. But that doesn't mean you need to get all sad either.
If he asks ';do you have any siblings?'; Just say ';yes, I have a brother, he passed away 9 years ago but he's still my brother.'; Then move on to lighter subjects or if he's curious about him, tell a funny/fond story you're willing to share. It's easy to smooth away the awkwardness if you don't let yourself shut down emotionally.
I hope that helpsFirst date tips please - waited A YEAR for this?
Lucky you!
Keep the conversation light and try to be yourself. Mention your brother by all means but don't go into too much detail initially as it will make him feel uncomfortable.
If you have nothing to say, ask about his life as it shows that you're interested in him.
Don't be tempted to drink too much to calm the nerves - he might get the wrong idea!
Very best of luck.
Do your best to be yourself, fake is the biggest turn off. If the conversation turns heavy, just say ';Let's leave that for another date';
Don't talk about marriage
Don't talk about other boyfriends (unless you have a funny story that makes them look lame)
Don't talk about having kids one day
Don't talk about stuff that makes the guy feel like the date is an interview for a potential husband, or that you are already planning his and your futures together.
Just be friendly, casual...
talk about work, family, school....keep it light, fresh and try not to let there be any lulls.
Oh...do a lot of listening...assuming he's a talker. Guys like to feel like they are saying important things. Let him do like 60% of the talking. It'll make him feel good.
Let him order a dessert or something and when it comes say something like
';NIce job on picking the dessert...it loosk awesome!'; It's a nice way to give him a compliment and make him feel good, therefore making him enjoy the date more.
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